


He smells like warm

by twoheadlights (fizzfic)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, Hugging, M/M, So much of both of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 09:13:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6512284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fizzfic/pseuds/twoheadlights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hugging through the years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He smells like warm

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO!!! hugs are great and so are pan so what do u get when u mix the two together??? this apparently. 
> 
> a spiritual successor to the [freckles fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6203491) i wrote a few weeks ago!
> 
> i hope u like this! feedback and yelling in comments is always appreciated <3

**October, 2009**

The first hug is awkward. Of course it is. Dan’s never felt comfortable with intimate touching (which always makes him wonder how in the everloving fuck he managed being in a relationship for _three_ years), but Phil just smells nice, and he has his arms around Dan’s waist, pulling him right to his body and he has his arms around _Phil's_ neck and he’s sure Phil can hear his heart threatening to jump out of his chest, it's beating so fast.

“You’re _real_.” Phil breathes softly in his ear, but it sounds like he’s telling that to himself like he’s still processing it.

“I am.” Dan replies. It’s muffled though since his mouth is pressed against Phil’s shoulder. 

“I can’t believe it, I can’t _believe_ —”

“I know, me neither, I—”

They’re swaying and Dan opens his eyes finally and meets with an old lady walking in their direction who glances at them and smiles. He smiles back and breathes out, feeling calm and just...happy. He notices that other people are also looking their way and not smiling and he thinks, _what? It’s a station, this is normal_ and _is it because we’re so tall_?

He releases Phil’s neck anyway because he’s suddenly shy and they’ve _just_ met and surely this is longer than it’s supposed to be.

Phil apologises. “I’m sorry!” He exclaims, blushing and Dan didn’t even know that was a thing cool and confident AmazingPhil could do. “I just like hugs and you’re a nice hugger, and a good height so it wasn’t like, awkward so I just kept hugging, God, you must think I’m so weird because I know you smell like lavender—” He stops and coughs and rubs the back of his neck. “I’m not this embarrassing, I swear.” He says sheepishly.

Dan laughs. He gets a feeling he’s going to know Phil like the back of his hand soon and it’s going to be great.

-

**September, 2010**

“Dan.” Phil says, when he opens the door and sees the other boy. “You could’ve just come back with me, you know.”

“I thought I could do it.” Dan says, talking fast as he walks in. “It’s like, halls, people I’m supposed to get to know, bad view from my room, it all got too claustrophobic and I felt so alone.” He sits on the one-and-a-half-person sofa and hides his face in his hands. “I’m a mess.”

Phil sighs and sits beside him. He puts his arm around Dan’s shoulders and says kindly, “You’re really not. I get it, alright? I cried in the middle of a supermarket buying tea towels before moving to uni.”

Dan looks up at him. “You didn’t.”

“I did.” Phil insists, nodding. “Yeah, and I was overwhelmed too, I’d never stayed in York and I was expected to live with strangers and compromise? What’s that? I just had to deal with it alone. You don’t, alright? You have me here, always.”

“I’m so glad.” Dan says, giving him a small smile. He turns a bit and wraps his arms around Phil’s waist, catching him off guard and making him fall onto Dan’s lap, yelping.

He feels a bit strange but only for a few seconds because Dan needs him and he lowers his head to plant a kiss on the top of his head and hug him back tightly. He presses his cheek on Dan's head and inhales. In a year, Phil's become accustomed to Dan's scent. He can't even tell what he literally smells like but it's always nice and welcoming and _warm_. That's how he feels when they're in each other's arms.

“I love you.” Dan says softly.

Phil smiles. They break apart and Phil touches Dan’s cheek and strokes it lightly. “Love you more.” He says, booping his nose and laughing. “Do you wanna stay here tonight?”

“ _Yes_.”

-

**August, 2011**

“Was that the last box?” Phil calls from the lounge.

“Yeah, I think so. I _hope_ it was.” Dan stretches his arms and groans as his bones crack.

“Ew, ew, ew.” Phil complains, walking into the room. “Never again, please.”

Dan laughs and brings his hands together. He raises his eyebrow at Phil, not breaking eye contact.

“Don’t.” Phil warns him.

He cracks his knuckles and a truly _disgusting_ sound emits from them.

“Ugh.” Phil shudders. “I already regret living with you.”

Dan grins but doesn't say anything.

“What?” Phil asks, warily. “Why're you looking at me like that?”

“I'm living with you.” Dan says.

Phil rolls his eyes and walks to Dan. “You sap.” He says, grabbing him by the shoulders and kissing him on the nose.

“Your sap.” Dan returns easily and hugs him. “You are the best, you know that?”

“I know.” Phil sighs. Inside he's dancing because they rarely hug and this felt right.

Dan strokes his back and his body slacks. “We have our own place.” Dan says softly. “Our own little world.”

“Ours to make whatever we want.” Phil agrees. “Should we have a space room?”

“Stop ruining the moment, you spoon.”

Phil nuzzles Dan's neck. “Not possible, roommate.”

-

**November, 2012**

Dan slams the door shut when he enters the flat and flinches at the sharp sound. Hopefully it won't fall off.

He’d left the house to blow off steam, calm himself down a bit but that did _nothing_ and London officially hates him. So many people have pushed past him tutting because he stopped, too overwhelmed by his thoughts, too caught up in them with no place to sit and really _think_.

He walks up the stairs and goes straight to the kitchen and pours himself a glass of tap water. As he drinks, he hears footsteps and he really isn't up for another…chat. Phil apparently likes them a lot though.

“Dan?” He says.

Dan turns around and Phil is stood by the fridge and he looks uncomfortable and Dan _hates_ that because this is his house too and it's ridiculous that they can't stay in the same room at the same time for a long time especially after an argument. “Hey. I just got back.”

“I heard. Look, what happened before—”

“Doesn't matter.” Dan interrupts. He drains his glass and looks at Phil properly now. “I don't want to talk about it anymore.”

“Not like we talked about it much before.” Phil mutters. His eyes widen and he looks at Dan. “I mean, look,”

“No.” Dan says. “I did what I had to. It's over.”

“Yelling at our viewers and running away does not make it _over_.” Phil argues. “You've left such a mess and even more speculation.”

“Don't we love the mystery though?” Dan asks bitterly. “Being ambiguous and all that.” Something in his eye stings and he hates that his body would betray him this way.

Phil notices probably because the stony expression on his face vanishes and is replaced by softness. He walks to Dan with his arms wide open. “Dan.” He whispers as he tries to wrap them around Dan's shoulders.

“No.” Dan moves away. He side steps away from Phil and walks away steadily. “Not today. I'm not…this isn't the time.”

Boundaries. Suddenly they had those, otherwise why would Phil just accept that and not follow him all the way to his room?

-

**January, 2013**

It's cold when they leave the BBC building after their first ever live show. They meet a few people outside who congratulate them and get fake-scolded by Phil for staying out when it's like -12 degrees.

“You're worth it though.” One of them answered making Phil a little speechless.

“Are we?” He asks as they both wait for their train on the platform.

“Are we what?” Dan looks at him questioningly.

“Worth the cold. Bit weird, that back there.”

“Well,” Dan says, smiling, “I thought you were worth the three hour train journey five years ago and look where I am now.”

Phil shoves him playfully with his arm and laughs softly. His thoughts veer towards, _well you can't kiss him or anything_ and that's true. The walls still stand on that front but they're working through it.

Dan shoves him back and giggles. Phil rolls his eyes and says, “We're not five. Be a man and celebratory hug me.”

“Oh yeah?” Dan raises an eyebrow.

“Do it, Howell.”

He feels Dan on him all at once and there's a tense air around them because they haven't done this in so long. A cautious hand loops around the back of his neck and he grabs Dan's side and rests his chin on his right shoulder.

“Job well done today, BBC radio presenter Phil Lester.” Dan whispers.

Phil just hugs him tighter.

When they pull away, Dan's grinning. Their train has arrived. “That felt oddly dejá vù-y.”

“Because _that's_ a word. But I know what you mean.”

“Hm. I wonder why,” Dan frowns as they step onto the train.

-

**June, 2014**

“Who's more likely to have their fly unzipped and not notice?”

Phil bursts out laughing even though his face is burning because he knows _exactly_ why that's a question. The audience shouts out, “PHIL!” before either of them could left their papers.

Dan stands up and points at him. “Look, stand up—”

“I've done them this time!” Phil protests standing up and showing them.

“Oh, it's done, you're safe today!” Dan announces, flashing a thumbs up. He looks at Phil now, eyes sparkling, a maddening grin to match. He shrugs. “So I guess this means that we’re real friends?”

“We’re real friends!” Phil agrees. He isn’t prepared for Dan to come at him with open arms, but before he can react, his nose is pressed against his shoulder and his hands on Phil’s back. Instinct kicks in and he hugs back with a hand, and it’s a little awkward but only because of their hands not being completely free and the fact that neither of them bothered to bring them close enough for a good hug.

He can hear the deafening screams and is sure thousands of cameras just started recording and clicking pictures if they weren’t before and he just closes his eyes and squeezes Dan lightly before letting him go. They laugh at each other and Phil has never seen Dan this happy ever. For some reason unbeknownst to him (consciously anyway) it feels like the start of something new between the two of them, like things were about to change from exactly this moment on.

-

**October, 2015**

For as long as he can remember, Dan hasn’t been scared of speaking to crowds. He was in plays when he was younger, he grew up to do YouTube where he technically spoke to millions (he does know that a lot of his subscribers might just be spam emails and brands who don’t care), and a live show that broadcasts to the whole nation and beyond. He’s no stranger to masses of people listening to what he has to say. It doesn’t make it any less daunting.

“I’m probably going to hit my head in the first two minutes.” Phil says, looking Dan’s reflection in their shared dressing room mirror.

“Don’t say that, it won’t happen, shut up,” Dan replies, a nervous edge in his voice. What is _wrong_ with him?

Maybe it's that tens of thousands of copies of their book were shipped off all over the world and people were reading it even now and making judgements about his words and the design and the _appeal_ and whether it was _worth_ it. And now with the show, it's the same thing. The meetup was alright, but Dan had to convince himself it was just like any other one they'd done – nothing different, not like he's on his own tour with his best friend for five weeks at least.

“I’m joking.” Phil tells him, turning around to see him slumped on the couch. “You know I am.”

Dan sighs. “Yeah, I know. It’s just—”

“Scared?”

“Surprisingly.”

“Wow.” Phil looks at him like he’s never seen him before. Dan makes a face at him. “I mean,” Phil tries to redeem himself, “if _you’re_ scared then what am I doing, right?”

“Calming me down?” Dan suggests, wide-eyed, wringing his hands at Phil. “I’d appreciate that.”

Phil stifles a laugh and walks and sits next to him on the couch. “Okay, okay. Look. It’ll be fine. We both know it will. There is a one in a million chance that anything will go wrong. We could forget something from the script but you and I both are aware that no one does improvising like us. I promise not to hit my head or any part of my body on props. You’re going to be wonderful, and steal everyone’s hearts like you stole mine all those years ago.”

Dan rolls his eyes but he’s smiling. “You were doing so well.”

“Hey, I just wanted that to come out and play.” Phil replies, poking his dimple.

Before Dan can give a retort to _that_ (something along the lines of, ‘Phil, six years and you still act like we have to try and make each other blush, honestly’), Phil engulfs him in a hug.

“You smell nice,” he tells Dan, voice muffled slightly because he has his face pressed against his shoulder.

“Oh, thanks. Do I smell manly and cinnamon-y?”

“Mm. Warm. You're warm.”

They don't hug that often, even privately. It's more intimate than most of the things they _do_ do (read: sex things). But Dan envies the people in meetups who run up to Phil and eagerly wrap their arms around him. He hugs back just as earnestly as them and all Dan can do is fall more in love with him and subsequently not realise that the person has finished hugging Phil and would like to do the same with him.

He relaxes under Phil's touch and feels himself calm down slowly, forgetting about all his worries before. _This is nice_ , he thinks. _This forever, please_.

-

**April, 2016**

“The flight was _awful_.” Dan's voice is sleepy and moan-y and Phil can't help but snicker. “Don't laugh at my misery! I'm going to sleep on top of you as soon as I get there.”

“Our hotel room has perfectly functional mattresses for you to sleep on.” Phil tells him, bouncing on his. “I can't wait for you to get here.”

“Me too. Two weeks is too long. We can't be apart for that much time, new rule.”

“I didn't know we even had rules. Why was your flight awful though? Turbulence?”

“ _Noooo_ , I had to sleep, or try to sleep, on my hand because I didn't have a shoulder to rest my head against.”

“What, old lady Janice wasn't nice to enough to offer?”

“No. She was kind of a bitch actually.”

“ _Dan_.”

“I'm sleeping. See you in ten minutes.”

-

“Phil? I'm here!”

Phil walks out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist, water dripping off his body and the tips of his hair. “Hiya.” He greets Dan, grinning widely.

Dan drops his suitcase and it falls as he strides to Phil and hugs him, apparently not caring that his very new T-shirt was getting wet. “Hi,” he whispers in Phil's ear.

Phil smiles and holds Dan tighter. He inhales and the faint scent of his cologne under the smell of airplane and trains and cabs. It smells familiar, like the scent of travel is something Phil associates with Dan because of that first hug at  Manchester Piccadilly all those years ago. He doesn't smell like anything in particular, but Phil feels warm where their skin touches and he kind of wants to stay there forever even though he would never admit that to Dan. They're miles and miles away from their London apartment but in that moment, Phil had never felt more at home.

**Author's Note:**

> like and reblog on tumblr!


End file.
